Dear friend,
“May you have happiness and the causes of happiness. May you be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.”
-Tibetan Prayer
Doug Fagen and Suzy Smith met during the Wednesday night River Road class on February 3rd, 1998. It was their first time attending the meditation class, and Doug immediately asked Suzy out. By the end of their first date, they both knew they would get married, and eventually, Tara Brach would officiate the ceremony.
While everyone walks the Path at their own pace, Doug and Suzy have walked their own Paths together. Their kids grew up going to the Family Retreats during the summer and Wednesday night classes with Ofosu with the River Road sangha. At night, when their boys were little, Doug and Suzy would end the day with an evening sit, and like all small children fighting against the tyranny of bedtime, their boys would crawl downstairs in search of their parents’ attention. Rather than argue with their sons, Doug and Suzy would remain in their positions, eyes at rest while the boys climbed in their laps and chattered away. Eventually, the boys learned to be still as their parents modeled the time for quiet reflection.
Right speech, also called Wise Speech, is precisely defined by the Buddha as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, and abstinence from idle chatter.” Doug and Suzy describe how IMCW has helped their family learn to communicate, stating that dharma talks have “become part of [their] family’s DNA.” For Doug, this means “We have room for all the feelings. And, when I think about our family, any time we would have a conflict or a stressor, it became clear that whatever we experienced was going to be ok”
“If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”
He goes on to explain that acceptance has seeped into their family’s being, over the years. Whatever they are experiencing, he never doubts they will be able to make room for love and compassion.
For Suzy, while she knows that her kids have seen patience and stillness modeled by their parents, she believes her kids have “taught her things that were beyond [her] own wisdom.” She just needed to listen.
Your generosity helps support the teachers who help us all learn to speak—and listen—wisely. It also makes Family Retreats possible, subsidizing programs and providing scholarships so that families can practice together regardless of their financial circumstances. In a time when our words can so easily divide, there may be no more important investment than helping the next generation learn to listen deeply, speak with care, and meet one another with compassion. Your gift helps plant those seeds of peace today—nurturing families who can carry Wise Speech, wisdom, and compassion into their homes, communities, and the world they will help shape. Please make a gift today and help cultivate the future we hope to share.
